


Field Report

by McKay



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-26
Updated: 2011-11-26
Packaged: 2017-10-26 13:55:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/284000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKay/pseuds/McKay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The X-Files. Scully writes up her report of a stake-out gone wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Field Report

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of X-Files silliness written in 2000.

From: Dana Scully  
To: Walter Skinner  
Re: Case Number 4960015-ZED

In regards to Agent Fox Mulder’s recent attempt to apprehend a B&E suspect with a long-standing record, all I can say on my own behalf that it is the only field mission I have ever voluntarily abandoned, the reasons for which are stated in the report below.  
It began as a routine stake-out, and while I remained dubious as to the scientific verity behind Agent Mulder’s rational for enacting the surveillance, I have experienced enough unusual occurances in the past to warrent nominal interest. Agent Mulder insisted that the culprit would strike as he adhered to a strict infiltration regime that resulted in break-ins on the same night every year.

I questioned Agent Mulder about why he was anxious to apprehend the suspect since no apparent harm was done to any of the homes that were broken into; Agent Mulder explained that it was the principle of the matter, and that he did not want so much to remand the suspect into custody as he simply wanted to validate his theory that this particular criminal did indeed exist as there is some controversy on the matter.  
To that end, Agent Mulder collected distance-sensitive microphones and other listening devices, night goggles and a camera with a telephoto lens and a particularly strong flash.

We arrived at 2367 Maple Street at 11:28 PM.

At 12:07 AM, it began to rain.

At 1:12 AM, the rain turned slightly icy due to the sudden temperature drop due to a cold front which moved in quickly during the early morning hours.

At 2:01 AM, Agent’s Mulder’s car died, which left us with no heat because neither of us could deduce the source of the engine problem.

At 2:22 AM, the water level on Maple St. had risen so high that it began to infiltrate the floorboards, forcing us to abandon the vehicle and take paltrey shelter in nearby shrubbery.

Agent Mulder was not quite as disgruntled by this turn of events as I was since he believed that the suspect would emerge from a hiding place among the foliage. He set up his equipment and maintained his surveillance by means of the night goggles, taking pictures of every slight indication of movement on the lawn, which was slight indeed since even animals had the good sense not to be out on a night like that.

At 2:32 AM, the rain turned into a storm.

At 2:47 AM, the owner of 2367 Maple St. emerged from the house to request that Agent Mulder stop using flash photography as the light was shining directly into his bedroom window and causing a disturbance. Strong words were exchanged on both sides, the result of which, Agent Mulder’s camera ended up in the branches of a nearby tree.

At 2:54 AM, lightning from the storm was attracted to the nearby tree by the metal of Agent Mulder’s camera.

At 3:01 AM, the windshield of Agent Mulder’s car was smashed by the irate owner of 2367 Maple St. whose lawn was now on fire due to the lightning. Agent Mulder attempted to placate the irate owner of 2367 Maple St. by assuring him the rain would most likely put out the fire.

At 3:03 AM, the rain stopped.

At 3:16 AM, the fire and rescue department arrived to put out the fire.

At 3:42 AM, the fire and rescue department departed after having successfully extinguished the blaze. Agent Mulder retrieved his equipment and insisted on resuming the stake-out, at which point I questioned the legitimacy of Agent Mulder’s birth, called down God’s curse upon his head and implied that he engaged in incestuous relations with his mother before leaving the scene of the stake-out.

I understand Agent Mulder remained until dawn without making an arrest.

Suspect: The Easter Bunny

Current Location: Unknown


End file.
